This is sickening. I have a 20-page report to type on global financial crisis, instead I am sitting here, blogging. My brain juice is officially dried. Used up every single drop of it. And I am only 40% done for my report. Bravo :D I'm just looking forward to this weekend. Got some birthday outing. Hopefully. Perhaps, I can feel human again.
I noticed that my blog is becoming lifeless. What can you expect from someone who is constantly doing assignment for coming 1- month already. Eff assignment.
Feeling rather nostalgic now.
Night.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Slow spinning redemption
I'm suffocating. Sinking, deeper and deeper. Drowning. I'm reaching the bottom soon. It is dark and murky. I can't see light. Groping in the dark. Aimless. Tides keep pounding. I'm drifting further and further away. Hurry! Someone grab my hands. Before I'm forever lost at sea. The sea of my thoughts.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Shift_Overdrive
Finally!! Breather!! How I struggled and toiled this week. Assignments just come pouring in. No stops. And I'm drowning. I have another one due this Monday which leaves me 3 days to finish up a research essay plus to calculations. As if the essay itself won't kill me. Man I feel so suffocated.What I need now is to go on shopping spree with plenty of blue notes of course. And to go for a nice movie or a long trip. Outside Selangor of course.
Forgive me for my spastically short line. I overworked my brain, stringing sentences until it malfunctioned. Bad...OK enough of blogging. Wanna save my 'writting' command and not overuse it. I'm damn tired of trying to link and string sentences.
So farewell. Bye
Forgive me for my spastically short line. I overworked my brain, stringing sentences until it malfunctioned. Bad...OK enough of blogging. Wanna save my 'writting' command and not overuse it. I'm damn tired of trying to link and string sentences.
So farewell. Bye
Friday, May 1, 2009
Empty thoughts
I was looking through all my posts and I noticed that I did not blog much about my daily routine. What I meant was something that you normally find in conventional blogs ie. today I woke up what time, I reached the toilet what time, how many counts of brushing my teeth etc. It's not that I don't like blogging about my life but I totally dislike blogging about what I do repeatedly everyday. I mean who wants to know right? We all do it everyday. At least I hope so. Lol.
Anyways, my bestie asked my yesterday how am I lately and I answered of course. But it took me some time to answer. Cause I don't know what is significant in my life that I think she ought to know. I just think that I am leading such a mundane life that it is so routined that I have nothing to tell her at all. It is like I am wired in such a way that I live and do everything the same at the exact moment everyday. I am at peace these days but I wouldn't say I am ecstastic either. It is just that i am feeling pretty much indifferent most of the time that I don't feel much up and down. So if there is no up how can there be a down? Like a constant linear graph.
Giving it much thought, I came up with 3 word description of how I am; what I am feeling to be precise. To make it sound less uninteresting :D
I am dumped, lonely and horny :p
Anyways, my bestie asked my yesterday how am I lately and I answered of course. But it took me some time to answer. Cause I don't know what is significant in my life that I think she ought to know. I just think that I am leading such a mundane life that it is so routined that I have nothing to tell her at all. It is like I am wired in such a way that I live and do everything the same at the exact moment everyday. I am at peace these days but I wouldn't say I am ecstastic either. It is just that i am feeling pretty much indifferent most of the time that I don't feel much up and down. So if there is no up how can there be a down? Like a constant linear graph.
Giving it much thought, I came up with 3 word description of how I am; what I am feeling to be precise. To make it sound less uninteresting :D
I am dumped, lonely and horny :p
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The four rules of thumb
I was thinking today. And I realised that I'm quite temperamental in general. I wasn't like this when I was younger but lately my tolerance level has gone down quite significantly. Blame it on hormones, but normally I held back and put on a pokerface *yea this is where my nick comes in handy* and act cool. I know my outburst is unreasonable but hey when I hit the point it's not like I want to right?
For those who know me, they will know there are few ways of getting on to my nerves.
So here are top few ways of pulling my chain:
Four
Eating time. Hah! Classic. A hungry man is an angry man. That phrase applies to me so well. It's as if its custom made. For me. When I'm hungry, anything that causes me to unable to have my meal is like stepping on a mad dog's tail. Obeying my bio-clock is extremely crucial to me. When my tummy calls, it has to be answered IMMEDIATELY.
Three
I don't know about everyone else, but have you ever encounter people who are extra cheerful in the morning? Urgh. Annoyinggggg. In the morning, I am a grumpy person. Ok. That's an understatement. The morning is the time when the whole world is against me and I'm against the world. Morning is my private time. My sanctuary time. Me and Thornberry time. I really appreciate it if no one interferes with my me-time and leave me be. You wanna be cheerful? Fine by me. But don't try pulling me in with pathetic efforts. I am cycnical and bitter in the morning and I like to stay that way. That don't always apply on all mornings of course. Only happens on mornings I have to wake up early. Say, 6ish and earlier. Other days when I get the privilege of waking up late, I'm totally normal on those days :) Of course I do get better on those 'fateful' morning. That is after a lapse of 1ish hour.
Two
Frogs. Frogs are the experts at boiling my nerves. They seem to have the inborn talent of knowing which spot to hit and rocket me up and through my roof. The constant ONGs! ONGs! they orchestrate at night ie. rainy nights piss me off so bad, I can envision horrific graphics in my mind. Its in my older posts. Yea. About things I wanna do badly to the green creatures. There were a couple of times, when the sopranos of the frogs were at their highest notes interfered with my sleep, I was tossing and turning on my bed with violent fits of anger. So much so, I have to shift to another room to sleep. On yoga mat that is. Imagine the hardness of the floor. But, I've found a way to put the frogs to silence. Forever :D
One
The ultimate way to see the darker shade of Thornberry is *drumrolls* upsetting my sleep. I am a fussy sleeper. A little too much of light or sound or a little too hot makes the environment unfeasible for me to sleep. I need extremely conducive surroundings to fall asleep. I am sensitive to the extent of, even aircond water leaking outside can annoy me. Or sound of water in the toilet dripping for that matter. And this includes the frogs definitely.
So anything or anyone that caused any incongruity to the 'conduciveness' will face my wrath. In fact, I called the police a couple of times to arrest my neighbour for blasting the f-radio in ungodly hours. I attempted throwing rocks or stones at first. But there was nothing nearby to throw that can bring enough damage. So I gave up. Yeap. I admit it. But the police came surprisingly and warned my neighbour only. Lucky them. They know it was me. So what?? Sue me la. I even hung 2 layers of dark curtains to block out any lights that can disrupt my sleep. I went to the length of taping the small green light on the aircond. Cause I think it is too bright. See how particular I am?
Conclusion of the story. Thornberry = fussy.
For those who know me, they will know there are few ways of getting on to my nerves.
So here are top few ways of pulling my chain:
Four
Eating time. Hah! Classic. A hungry man is an angry man. That phrase applies to me so well. It's as if its custom made. For me. When I'm hungry, anything that causes me to unable to have my meal is like stepping on a mad dog's tail. Obeying my bio-clock is extremely crucial to me. When my tummy calls, it has to be answered IMMEDIATELY.
Three
I don't know about everyone else, but have you ever encounter people who are extra cheerful in the morning? Urgh. Annoyinggggg. In the morning, I am a grumpy person. Ok. That's an understatement. The morning is the time when the whole world is against me and I'm against the world. Morning is my private time. My sanctuary time. Me and Thornberry time. I really appreciate it if no one interferes with my me-time and leave me be. You wanna be cheerful? Fine by me. But don't try pulling me in with pathetic efforts. I am cycnical and bitter in the morning and I like to stay that way. That don't always apply on all mornings of course. Only happens on mornings I have to wake up early. Say, 6ish and earlier. Other days when I get the privilege of waking up late, I'm totally normal on those days :) Of course I do get better on those 'fateful' morning. That is after a lapse of 1ish hour.
Two
Frogs. Frogs are the experts at boiling my nerves. They seem to have the inborn talent of knowing which spot to hit and rocket me up and through my roof. The constant ONGs! ONGs! they orchestrate at night ie. rainy nights piss me off so bad, I can envision horrific graphics in my mind. Its in my older posts. Yea. About things I wanna do badly to the green creatures. There were a couple of times, when the sopranos of the frogs were at their highest notes interfered with my sleep, I was tossing and turning on my bed with violent fits of anger. So much so, I have to shift to another room to sleep. On yoga mat that is. Imagine the hardness of the floor. But, I've found a way to put the frogs to silence. Forever :D
One
The ultimate way to see the darker shade of Thornberry is *drumrolls* upsetting my sleep. I am a fussy sleeper. A little too much of light or sound or a little too hot makes the environment unfeasible for me to sleep. I need extremely conducive surroundings to fall asleep. I am sensitive to the extent of, even aircond water leaking outside can annoy me. Or sound of water in the toilet dripping for that matter. And this includes the frogs definitely.
So anything or anyone that caused any incongruity to the 'conduciveness' will face my wrath. In fact, I called the police a couple of times to arrest my neighbour for blasting the f-radio in ungodly hours. I attempted throwing rocks or stones at first. But there was nothing nearby to throw that can bring enough damage. So I gave up. Yeap. I admit it. But the police came surprisingly and warned my neighbour only. Lucky them. They know it was me. So what?? Sue me la. I even hung 2 layers of dark curtains to block out any lights that can disrupt my sleep. I went to the length of taping the small green light on the aircond. Cause I think it is too bright. See how particular I am?
Conclusion of the story. Thornberry = fussy.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Stick in the mud
I was lying on my bed thinking the other night before I sleep. About life after uni. How will it be like? Where will my future take me? From all I can anticipate are; fear of finding a job, the worry of coping with the job, financial concerns and adapting to the real world. Don't you just feel exposed and unsheltered thinking about it? I do. And I haven't even make allowance for what that may come, unanticipated.
I have major plans ahead of me once I graduate. Can't exactly disclose it here, it's too private. But what are the odds of carrying it out, I don't know. Seeing my current position now, I'm not exactly in good shape to be pondering about it. I hate thinking about it. Usually I just push it to the back of my thoughts.
Facing this unusual crisis of life-after-uni, it makes me realise how much I wanted to grow old the Malaysian way. Note that I didn't say I wanna stay in Malaysia. I just wanna experience Malaysian life a little longer. Maybe I wanna experience it for as long as I live. Human nature. We're most comfortable or most accepting of what we experience first. The changes are usually rejected and unwelcomed. Unless, the prior experience is horribly unbearable or the changes brings much more positive outlook as compared to the past. Don't agree with me? OK. Here's an example. Let's say you've been listening to this song for all your life. And suddenly a new singer came and remixed the song. I think most people will find themselves inclined towards the original piece comparing with the remix version. Barring, the remix version is vastly superior than the previous piece. Or the previous piece is excruciating to the ear. If there's only so much difference between the current and the changes, then people are likely to ignore the miniscule changes and stick with the present.
Sorry, I digress. I'm trying to make a point here. My life after uni, considering the plan, may bring me a better life. But sacrifices are indispensable. No pain, no gain right? And its going to be a costly one. If I survive this, then I dare say I am something. But if I don't, it's gonna be a long fall; a long way down. Either way, I'm trapped. If the plan works, I'm going to be paying some high price for some time. Aborting the plan isn't exactly in my favour as well. I'm not happy either ways. Bottomline, I hate leaving my comfort zone. I hate changes.
I never thought proceeding in life will bring this much worries. When I was a kid, I always wished I'll grow up faster, so I can do whatever I want. I guess Mr. Spidey has it right, "with great power comes great responsibility". Now that I have my freedom, I have greater responsibilities. It's a counter- independence logic.
I wanna have a little time longer:
Going to mamak late at night
Going to pasar malam
Staying in freehold, and landed homes
People around me who can't speak such perfect Engrand *makes me feel superior :p..ok i'm so evil*
Speeding on highways without worrying about efficient law enforcers
Eating diverse local delicacies
Able to visit other states, and feel the difference as you enter those states
Having to travel far to get somewhere
Going to the beaches and many other islands to visit instead of being stuck with just one
Most of all, breaking rules because it is possible :D
All in all, I'm not patriotic. But I do love the imperfect Malaysian ways.
I have major plans ahead of me once I graduate. Can't exactly disclose it here, it's too private. But what are the odds of carrying it out, I don't know. Seeing my current position now, I'm not exactly in good shape to be pondering about it. I hate thinking about it. Usually I just push it to the back of my thoughts.
Facing this unusual crisis of life-after-uni, it makes me realise how much I wanted to grow old the Malaysian way. Note that I didn't say I wanna stay in Malaysia. I just wanna experience Malaysian life a little longer. Maybe I wanna experience it for as long as I live. Human nature. We're most comfortable or most accepting of what we experience first. The changes are usually rejected and unwelcomed. Unless, the prior experience is horribly unbearable or the changes brings much more positive outlook as compared to the past. Don't agree with me? OK. Here's an example. Let's say you've been listening to this song for all your life. And suddenly a new singer came and remixed the song. I think most people will find themselves inclined towards the original piece comparing with the remix version. Barring, the remix version is vastly superior than the previous piece. Or the previous piece is excruciating to the ear. If there's only so much difference between the current and the changes, then people are likely to ignore the miniscule changes and stick with the present.
Sorry, I digress. I'm trying to make a point here. My life after uni, considering the plan, may bring me a better life. But sacrifices are indispensable. No pain, no gain right? And its going to be a costly one. If I survive this, then I dare say I am something. But if I don't, it's gonna be a long fall; a long way down. Either way, I'm trapped. If the plan works, I'm going to be paying some high price for some time. Aborting the plan isn't exactly in my favour as well. I'm not happy either ways. Bottomline, I hate leaving my comfort zone. I hate changes.
I never thought proceeding in life will bring this much worries. When I was a kid, I always wished I'll grow up faster, so I can do whatever I want. I guess Mr. Spidey has it right, "with great power comes great responsibility". Now that I have my freedom, I have greater responsibilities. It's a counter- independence logic.
I wanna have a little time longer:
Going to mamak late at night
Going to pasar malam
Staying in freehold, and landed homes
People around me who can't speak such perfect Engrand *makes me feel superior :p..ok i'm so evil*
Speeding on highways without worrying about efficient law enforcers
Eating diverse local delicacies
Able to visit other states, and feel the difference as you enter those states
Having to travel far to get somewhere
Going to the beaches and many other islands to visit instead of being stuck with just one
Most of all, breaking rules because it is possible :D
All in all, I'm not patriotic. But I do love the imperfect Malaysian ways.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Rubbish post. Don't bother reading
Today's post is going to be boring. Cause I'm feeling bored. I'm bored from feeling worried. Its about my presentation. Yeah, I've been sitting here since don't remember what time typing my slides. Thanks to she-who-must-not-be-mentioned. But I'll give you a hint. It's the lady with red mouse who goes click-click-click away. Man, I hate her and that freaking mouse. I wish I can javelin the mouse and her to the front of lecture. WAHAHAHA. Anyway, wishful thinking.
I wonder, why am I blogging now. This is one thing I hate about having a blog. I seem to have this obligation to blog but yet I can't squeeze out anything to write. I suppose I'm a responsible blogger :D So here I am, crapping something at least on this blog. Good night.
I wonder, why am I blogging now. This is one thing I hate about having a blog. I seem to have this obligation to blog but yet I can't squeeze out anything to write. I suppose I'm a responsible blogger :D So here I am, crapping something at least on this blog. Good night.
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