The Pink Squid

I miss the sincerity in our friendship. I wish there were no underlying emotions involved. I wish you wouldn't just keep holding on to the past and avoid me. I am tired of this cold war. We both know where we are heading towards if this don't stop. I wish I can just say it straight to you.

I wish we are not here. Maybe telling you was a big mistake. How do we be friends when the slightest nice things I do for you arouse suspicion? If this goes on, I don't see how we can stay friends. Maybe you can but I'm losing idea on how to be your friend.

Maybe it is better this way. We should just let this drift and see where it ends up. I am not expecting to turn back the moment I say this. I think this friendship is ladened with too many unsaid words and feelings. I am amazed we crawled this far seeing how terribly opaque this relationship is. We should let it go. I am too tired to carry this emotional luggage. I need to move forward and get you out of my system. With you in it, you're slowing me down.

Perhaps I am selfish but I can't accept haphazard relationships. Its all or nothing. And in this case, I choose nothing. I am not as strong as you. Pretending nothing happened when everything is happening right before your eyes.

I know sooner or later the day will come. It will hurt bad. If hurt is envitable, I choose to hurt now.

I love you. It is ok for you to make me stop loving you. Just don't make me start hating you.