Nostalgia

Today, is the day, I've been waiting for. Not something I looked forward to, more like anticipate will come. All these years of sweat and toil boils down to this very day. As of this moment on, I'm officially a graduate. A Monash graduate. Looking back, I had wonderful memories in Monash. Contributions from my fellow mates of course. My bitches. Not all is sweet, but not all is bitter. Better words to describe would be something to cherish a lifetime. I know, I will never walk down this road again. Or pass by this moment again. Do you know what makes those moments so beautiful? It does not repeat and it does not last forever.

I still remember my first day in uni. I was accompanied by my bestie to attend orientation and some sort of briefing. I met my first friend there. That is one girl I will never forget. From then on, we're close buddies and slowly we got accepted into another bigger group consisting of my favourite bitches. I tried removing them from my uni memories and I realise not a single moment was spent without them. They were apart of everything I do, some how or other. This line maybe cliched but true enough, I can't imagine uni without them.

Scheming through my memories, I would have to say my most enjoyable moments in uni would be during my first semester. I did so many crazy stuff; if I share those with my children next time, they will think I'm one heck of gung-ho mum. I wish I can turn back to those times. There's a difference I wish I can make.

So, here I am. I'm at the crossroads. Every choice that I make now matters. One road leads to another. Who am I to know where the road not taken will lead to. And how am I to know where the road I take will lead me to. There are so many choices and options flying around. I'm at uncharted water, I've never done this before and I don't know what's best for me. Worst still, I don't know what I want. Previously, all that mattered was getting through uni but now, getting through life is a total different story. Cause life includes career, and family. Yes, family. That means I have to find my the other half. Tough job.

I have few options lying ahead of me for careers. I've been putting this off for several months. Now, I've reached the point it is looming large in front of me. It is too close to ignore. Choosing career means deciding a major part of my life, with very limited visibility of what's ahead. Guided with instincts and inexperience, I have to make choices of sink or swim. I hate this part right here.

And there's the personal problem. Well, there are certain emotional luggage that I have to leave behind in pursuit of career. That's one complicated issue that I can't seem to sort. And I don't want to fry my brain thinking about it. I don't know if this person is worth the time and consideration in my future plans but I do know I'm finding it hard to leave this luggage behind.

Goodnight.